I’m always trying to explain the world

such a sham!        when I can’t explain
even the simplest things
like for example gravity, everything
always falling, falling
and I can’t begin to say why

when I was a child I believed I could fly
if only for one instant I could forget to fall

which should have been easy, considering all
I have forgotten       for several years I forgot
to breathe, forgot who was supposed to answer
when my name was called

forgot how my tongue moved to say home

forgot hundreds of the slowest hours of speech
therapy       staring into mirrors, hands gripping my jaw,
holding my lips open       like this   like this

such reversion back
to my youngest self       a world of menacing shadows
I could begin to banish      if I could remember how
to shape my mouth to say their names