8. Bestly

I got married.
I had kids.
I was who I was
supposed to be

except those two times those
hunting trips up through Iowa
to North Dakota

ring-neck pheasants flushed faster
than you could shoot them

being who I was supposed to be, best
friends on a journey best friends who kept
the best secret bestly

that was the second time          the first time I went
was a birthday trip with my beloved uncle

who taught me what I was supposed to be
and told who I was supposed to be and those two things
though opposite

were also true

were the first stones in my bones, the ones too calcified
for chemo to cure                stone seeds, seeds of stone

never allowed to split and shoot           never to know light
or water or the crisp chill of Dakota day